Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)

So, I’m still pondering exactly why I wanted to go see the second installment of the Star Trek reboot, considering how much I disliked the first film.  Curiosity, of course, and eternal optimism that they’d actually give me something worthy this time.  I really shouldn’t be surprised, then, that I don't get this one either. It actually makes me think I liked the first movie better.  I also appear to be in the distinct minority on that, as the rest of my family and friends quite liked all or most of the movie.  I'm okay with that.  And I'm okay with being one of the sole people who seems to be missing the appeal of the reboots.

Huge Spoilers follow!!!  You have been warned.

As I’ve figured out, my personal deal with the movies I love is that I have to want to be one of the lead characters.  Now, I grew up on the original Star Trek series.  I love it.  I’ve wanted to be Captain Kirk since I was in single-digits.  I like the rest of the original crew and could relate to them.  I would happily have served on the original Enterprise.

But I don’t want to be this Kirk.  At. All.  I actually like Chris Pine as an actor, but I can’t see anything of what I loved about the character of Kirk in this Kirk.  I don’t want to be any of the other characters either, nor do I relate to any of them, but at least I can recognize them as ST characters.  But I can't find a glimmer of Kirk in there.  They really are in an alternate universe, I guess.  Or I am.

When the characters fail to grab me, all I’m hoping for is an entertaining story.  But, as with the first movie, this one’s plot hinges on plot holes and coincidences and, dude, I can forgive an awful lot of crap in a movie when I like the characters.  But when I don’t like the characters, and there's nothing but story left...

I see this alternate universe is still messing with the physics of the universe.  At least they are consistent in their BS.  The Enterprise can now submerge beneath the ocean.  Never mind the fact that the indigenous race on this planet has barely invented the wheel, so clearly has no telescopes.  Never mind that the Enterprise is there to survey the planet.  They can’t do that from orbit?  Particularly when later in the film they can use their sensors from earth (!) to detect that Khan is alone in a deserted portion of the Klingon home world who knows how many solar systems away?  Nothing makes any sense in this universe. 

And then there’s this whole bizarre thing with the volcano.  It’s going to blow and wipe out the locals, so the Enterprise decides to stop that by killing the volcano.  Spock seems to have no problem with this, even though that would be messing with the prime directive too.  Besides, volcanoes usually provide fertile soil and geothermal pools and various other things that the natives were probably using in their daily life.  Turning off the volcano seems like it would be pretty traumatic for the natives.  I mean, it’s spewing lava one moment, it’s dead the next?  That’s not something that would change the course of their civilization?  (Also, no invention of the wheel, but the natives have a complicated written language?)

But that whole ridiculous opener is just to 1) show off the starship Enterprise rising from the (very deep) coastal waters, 2) get Kirk and Spock arguing so that there is a moral of the story, and 3) get Kirk demoted so we can promptly promote him again, and 4) let me know that if the first ten minutes of the movie make no sense, it wasn't going uphill from there.

Once again, Starfleet appears to have no qualified personnel and no other ships or crews.  And the Enterprise appears to have no other qualified engineers besides Scotty.  And speaking of Scotty, not only is he a genius who invented transwarp transporter technology (which no one but Khan can use), he can just take a shuttle (maybe they have rent-a-shuttle agencies?).. and pilot it all the way to Jupiter to a super-secret space station... that has no radar or detection gear whatsoever and no security protocols... and Scotty can just... fly right in without being challenged, and just waltz onboard this secret ship and stowaway because somehow he knows he'll be needed to sabotage said ship half an hour later?

You know, I hope the Klingons come and wipe earth out in the next movie, cuz Starfleet in this alternate universe remains the biggest bunch of idiots.  Not that the Klingons are much better.  In this alternate universe, the Klingon home world is well less than a day away from earth.  (The Enterprise gets there and back complete with damaged ship and an adventure planetside in under 24 hours.)  I guess they're not patrolling the Neutral Zone yet, but at least, the Klingons are monitoring what lands on their own planet.  That’s something.  Better than Admiral Marcus’s secret unguarded space station.

And then there’s Khan.  He’s at least somewhat interesting, but I found him unbelievably bland.  We’re told to fear him, but other than the fact that he has immortal blood which allows him (and any other being who gets a transfusion, including tribbles, cuz you know tribbles and humans have compatible blood) to heal and not take much physical damage in a fight, and the fact that he moves very fast... what’s to fear?  He was deliciously cold, but hardly intimidating.  Maybe that’s just because this movie gallops along at breakneck speed and never gives us a chance to know him a little better?  I think I liked him best when he was temporarily working with Kirk, just because the way they set him up, he made a far more interesting ambiguous ally than an enemy, and those were some of the better scenes in the movie.  I could almost like some of those parts.

I still like Pike.  And I did like Admiral Marcus.  I sort of liked Carol Marcus, but again with Starfleet being a bunch of morons.  She can change her name and just walk on the Enterprise?  No orders?  No security?  And then turn out to be the only weapons specialist they have?  She wasn’t supposed to be there, so who would Kirk have turned to if she wasn’t there?  (I feel like being Happy in IM3 – “Where’s your badge??”)

And then, there’s the whole “let’s take the climax of Wrath of Khan and reverse characters!” portion.  My sister and I lost it during that scene, we were laughing so hard.  We can’t tell if the filmmakers meant it to be funny, or if that was a completely unintentional side effect. Was it actually supposed to be some kind of loving tribute to the original movie and not a parody?  Because it sure felt like we had slipped into a bad Saturday Night Live skit.

I do find it very amusing that Kirk handles Spock’s death in Wrath of Khan far better than Spock handles Kirk’s death in this one.  This Spock falls apart like a cheap suit. 

Also, the entire end is a WTF moment.  When Khan kills 42 people in the beginning, it’s enough to get a no-holds-barred “go get ‘em” order (granted there’s more to that order, but Admiral Marcus is not the only Admiral in Starfleet still left alive).  When Khan kills possibly thousands at the end of the movie as he deliberately plows his huge ship into San Francisco, demolishing several high rises at least, no one says a blooming thing.  No death toll.  No injuries.  Zero consequences for Khan.  He’s not put on trial, not even for his previous terrorist act, he’s merely put back to sleep.  I simply do not understand how this alternate universe works. 

But, of course, I’m going to be foolishly optimistic about the next film.  They at least appeared to be setting up a war with the Klingons.  I like that.  I can go with that.  Until I find out in a couple years how badly they plot that out too.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)

Wow, huge delay between Bond movie reviews.  Sorry about that. It was mostly due to bad disks from Netflix.  I've been having a string of bad disks.  (Moonraker arrived, and it is cracked... sigh).  Anyway.  The Spy Who Loved Me. 



This movie has hands-down, my favorite pre-title sequence.  First we open with a submarine.  You know I’m all over that!  Then we get introduced to Russian Agent XXX, in a scene which plays to the audience’s expectations that it must be a man, when in fact it is Barbara Bach as Major Amasova.  Then we get Bond and an amazing ski chase that ends with him skiing right off a cliff, free falling, and then opening his parachute, which displays the British flag.  Cue title song...

I wish I could say I liked the rest as much as I love the opening.  And I do like a lot of this movie.  It’s one of the stronger Roger Moore films.  And it was my first theatrical Bond film, so it gets bonus points for that.  And I know it's quite popular.  But I still have mixed feelings on this one.  It's another one that I enjoy more in memory than sitting through.  

The villain’s plan is rather similar to Blofeld’s in You Only Live Twice: start a war between the Russians and Americans.  Only Stromberg intends to wipe out everyone on the surface and start a new better life beneath the ocean.  Because all that nuclear fallout won’t affect the seas, of course.  He has a pretty awesome sea station.  He also has a giant tanker that he uses expressly for capturing submarines.  It, also, reminds me of You Only Live Twice, in that the set is gigantic in scale, and the bad guys hole up behind “impenetrable” screens that the good guys must breach, with the countdown to Armageddon leaving them only a very short time to accomplish this in both movies.  But where Blofeld lacked any worthy henchman, Stromberg has Jaws, the steel-toothed giant played perfectly by Richard Kiel.  Jaws is one of the most iconic Bond henchman next to Oddjob.  Deadly, of course, but I particularly love how he is always straightening his tie and suit after any mishap.

I also don’t particularly like Major Amasova, though I can’t really put my finger on why.  Part of it might be because she’s supposed to be the best of the Russian spies, and yet, she never really displays any of that talent.  Exact opposite, really.  No way would she get that close to Jaws when she goes to pick up the microfilm.  Are you kidding me??  Script’s fault.  Makes her stupid, when she shouldn't be.  However, she still gets points for being one of the stronger female leads.

I wish I had more to say about this one, but I really don't.  I like it.  Everything works, but it just never quite jumps into the great category for me.

Favorite parts:  That opening ski chase.  The pyramid light show – kind of cheesy, but also spectacular, cuz, hello! Pyramids!  The Lotus Esprit.  I want one of those.  The helicopter portion of the car chase, particularly when it’s waiting for them around a corner (also that the pilot is a woman.).  Submarines!  And I should say, I love the British sub captain (of course), and he gets killed (of course).  Grrr.  Jaws.

Music:  Good.  Not a score I would ever listen to by itself, but it works well in this movie.  I particularly like the theme that goes with arriving at Stromberg’s Atlantis.

Theme song:  I know this is a popular song, but it does nothing for me personally. 

Credit sequence:  Okay

Bond girl:  Alas, I wish I liked her better.  I do like Caroline Munro as Naomi.  Much cooler lady.

Bad guys:  Stromberg is kind of cool. Jaws is better.

Overall personal rating:  3 out of 5 stars

Lawrence of Arabia... again

I saw Lawrence again yesterday, on the big screen.  This film is rapidly moving up my favorites list.  This viewing was amazing.  I had a better theater experience than I had at the TCM viewing, where sounds from other theaters intruded and took me out of Arabia.  This time, I could fully immerse in the majesty of this movie, and I had tears in my eyes at more than one moment.  I swear the whole thing -- including intermission -- was not longer than two hours.  The movie just flew by.   It if it had been playing a second time, I would have stayed in my seat for the next showing, it was that good, and I wanted more so badly.

The good thing is this film is played fairly regularly on the big screen.  This is one I definitely have no desire to see any other way except on the big screen.

Speaking of movie theaters, I saw this at a Phoenix Big Theater.  You might want to google them and see if they have a theater near you.  Lawrence was part of a classic film program where they show different classic movies every weekend.  Not only that, but it is only $4.00 admission, and they gave a voucher for the concession stand (if you're the type who like popcorn/food at the movies).  They also show operas (which is how I found them).  It's a bit of a drive for me to this theater, but worth it for the programming. 

"The war is over!"

Murphy’s War (1971) is a film I first saw back in the late '80s.  I was home alone and caught it on television.  You know how there are some movies you can see and then forget the plot just a couple months later?  And there’re some you just don’t forget.  Murphy’s War was the latter for me.  I have not seen it in twenty plus years, but I pretty much remembered all of it. I’ve wanted to see it again for years now and just never could find it.  When I found it on DVD, I bought it solely on those memories.

This is a WWII film, but a rather unusual one.  It’s set in Venezuela, on the Orinoco River, in the last days of WWII.  Peter O’Toole plays Murphy, whose ship is sunk and all the crew members gunned down by the crew of a U-Boat.  Murphy is the only survivor.  He’s rescued by Louis (Philippe Noiret), a Frenchman working for an oil company and taken to a woman doctor in the local village, played by Sian Phillips.  Those three characters are basically the only speaking parts in the movie besides the German U-Boat captain (Horst Janson) and some of his crew.  Murphy recovers from his wounds and goes on a one-man crusade to sink the submarine that destroyed his ship, any way he can.  Is there anyone who can play righteously obsessed quite the way Peter O’Toole can?




Seeing the movie again, I was surprised by how brutal the opening of the film is, when the ship is sunk during the opening credits.  It has to be, to get audience sympathy behind Murphy’s plan.  I was also surprised how fast-paced and absorbing this film is, for having little dialogue -- until I saw that the screenwriting credit belonged to Stirling Silliphant.  Then I wasn’t surprised anymore.  I’ve come to greatly respect his writing abilities from the Route 66 episodes he wrote, particularly his ability to write characters and their moral dilemmas.  And let Peter O’Toole bring a character like Murphy to life, and I don’t know why this movie isn’t more well known.  O’Toole is mesmerizing, and I love the little things he does throughout the film that just bring his character to life, such as always throwing out the pills the doctor keeps giving him, or the look he gives Louis when Louis replays the same record over and over.  He is by turns charming, unforgiving, unstoppable, obsessed, angry, pitiable, and always human.



One of the great scenes of this film is when Murphy has repaired a seaplane, and he gets in, determined to learn how to fly it.  Watching the plane bouncing hard on the waves as he tries to get it up to speed and get it airborne is tense and exhilarating.  And when he finally gets the plane airborne, I felt the same the excitement he did.  The on location footage, on that gigantic river and swooping over the jungle is awesome.  This is a film I’d really like to see on the big screen.



Another of my favorite scenes involves the German Captain trying to explain in broken English to a badly wounded English officer why he has to kill him.  He doesn't have to do that, but he can't quite shoot him down without his own humanity prompting him to explain why.  He doesn’t like any of this, but it is war, and he has his orders.  And I love how at the same time, the wounded officer secretly hides his flight jacket so the Germans won’t find out about the plane.  It is a near perfect war movie scene, harsh as it is.

Of course, when news comes over the radio that Germany has surrendered, Murphy doesn’t stop his one-man war.  He’s gone too far by that point to stop.  He will destroy the submarine or die trying.  This is a war movie and a revenge movie, and a cost of war movie and a cost of revenge movie.  All rolled together.  It’s rather brilliantly done.



The cast makes the film.  Philippe Noiret is wonderful as Louis, the laid-back, genial Frenchman who spends his days fishing while he watches over company property.  Murphy sucks him into his plot, using his skills and time and company equipment to further his own ends.  Sian Phillips is also perfect as the doctor.  Both characters are the perfect foils to Murphy’s one-track mind.  As is Horst Janson as the captain of the submarine, following his orders and doing his job.  I love the scene where he and his crew are celebrating Germany’s surrender and the end of the war.  (He and his men speak German with subtitles throughout the film).  The submarine is obviously not a WWII U-Boat (I’m not sure there were any left in 1971!) but that didn’t bother me.  It is a gorgeous boat, and the fact that they used a real submarine to cruise up and down the river just makes this movie all the better.



I’m really not sure why this movie isn’t better known.  It’s not one I ever hear mentioned when WWII movies are talked about, and that’s a shame, as it’s quite impressive.  There was a reason the movie has stuck with me for over twenty years, and it felt even more powerful when I watched it today.  It’s a combo of a great script that shows an intimate arena of the war, with solid pacing, top notch actors, and fabulous location filming.

Jack and Oz (2013)

I saw Jack the Giant Slayer last weekend, Oz, the Great and Powerful this weekend, so it seemed only appropriate to review them together.  Oz had the better trailer, but boy, was it a disappointing film.  Not to say it didn’t have some good parts to it, but as a whole it lacked.  Jack on the other hand, didn’t have a particularly engaging trailer, but boy, was it a fun movie.  I loved just about every minute of it.



Oz looks spectacular, but it goes wrong at the most fundamental level – character development.  Nobody in this film grabbed me, particularly our trio of witches.  I was never given more than the slightest indication of who they were and what motivated them.  Not even any generic and cliché motivations, which would have been better than nothing.  One of them killed their father (why?), is apparently guarding the throne but not actually ruling (so, does she not want power then?), another seems to have some weird self-dangerous personal issues whenever she gets her feelings hurt (is this a witch thing, or just with this witch?), and the third is good and opposed to evil, but why so different from her sisters?  Was the murdered father father of all three?  Was there a mother?  Mothers?  What do these witches want anyway?  What are their powers?  There’s a prophecy about the wizard of Oz.  I’m rather fond of prophecies, especially when they’re slightly subverted, and so that part worked for me.  But overall... I simply didn’t care enough.  This movie started out so promisingly, but by midway through, I was done.  At that point, it kept dragging on and on to the inevitable conclusion.

Now, it is a beautiful movie, with great scenery and I’m glad I saw it on the big screen.  And I do love James Franco.  He had the con man wizard part down, and I really liked those moments when he realized what was going on around him, that it wasn’t all a game.  I actually liked all three witches.  The actresses themselves were great with what they had to work with.  I like a lot of disparate parts of this film.  I loved that it is the wizard who suggests the broomstick idea.  Lovely little moment when it plays out.  There was some pretty funny stuff, mostly involving a good flying monkey named Finley.  Although I’m not quite sure whether I liked him or whether I was creeped out by him.  CGI talking animals are always a bit on the creepy side.  It’s something with how their lips move or something.  He did get the funniest moments in the movie, though.  One of his lines (alas, I can’t remember which one) had us laughing for a good couple minutes at least.  I also really liked the yellow brick road, the poppy field, and all those bits and bobs that tied in with The Wizard of Oz.  I also have to add that I loved Bruce Campbell in his small role.  Bruce Campbell is always a bonus!



Jack the Giant Slayer, on the other hand, I went to see mostly because Ewan McGregor was in it.  I had no expectations.  Where Oz seemed to take itself too seriously, this movie doesn’t take itself seriously at all.  Where Oz tries too hard to be something, Jack succeeds by simply being.  It’s just a retelling of a fairy tale, and it knows it.  And consequently, it is nothing but a fun romp of a movie.  I spent most of this movie grinning in delight.  And it may be just a fairy tale, but at the same time, it had characters I cared quite a great deal about.  There's also a whole passel of giants, who turned out to be quite interesting.  Other than the cook, who belongs with those gross trolls in Hobbit, (fortunately short screen time – they couldn't have a fastidious cook for once??)  But the giants have a lot of internal strife, so there were some great dynamics going on among them, little power plays, and stuff.  They weren't just a mindless horde.  I quite loved it.  With a few broad strokes the movie painted a deeper picture of what has been going on in their realm.  And as opposed to Oz... which got boring, I was never bored in Jack. 

The opening, which introduces Jack and the princess, Isabelle, as children hearing the legend of Jack and the Beanstalk, is nicely done, cutting seamlessly back and forth, showing how entranced both are with the tale.  It had me hooked immediately.  And as opposed to Oz, which was predictable straight through, Jack continued to surprise me throughout.  Supporting characters died when I didn’t think they would, which made me start genuinely worrying about some of the characters.  The king (Ian McShane) makes a hard decision I thoroughly loved him for, one that gave this movie more depth that I hadn't expected it to go into. 

And then there’s Ewan McGregor, who did not remotely disappoint.  He is awesome, and his character of Elmont, captain of the guard, was thoroughly amusing.  I can't actually figure out how to describe his character.  He is a bit pompous and silly (with a haircut that just makes me laugh, in a good way), and yet so utterly self-assured and confident and also heroic and upstanding, all at the same time, and it is the funniest and coolest combo.  I think only Ewan could play such a character.  He made me very very happy in this role for all kinds of reasons.  Stanley Tucci plays the bad guy, and he is perfectly despicable and nasty and cowardly and confident... and he also plays the role, like Ewan, with such light-hearted abandon that it’s just... well... FUN!

I will probably watch Oz again when it comes on television, but I can’t wait to own Jack on DVD.  It's a shame the latter hasn't gotten the attention it deserves.  I found it to be the far superior film, with one exception.  Danny Elfman's score for Oz was amazing and wonderful.  John Ottman's score for Jack is merely serviceable.  It doesn't detract, but neither does it give us any memorable themes.  I'd sorely like to have had the composers reversed.


(yeah, I would so put this poster on my wall!)

The Man With the Golden Gun (1974)

This is not a film I’ve watched very many times.  It was always low on the totem pole, but I found I rather liked the first half this go-round.  It wasn’t nearly as corny or dated, and the score by John Barry, of course, helps step it up a notch.  Unfortunately this movie suffers from confusion over what it’s going to be about.  It starts out with a highly paid assassin (Scaramanga, our lead villain, played by Christopher lee), supposedly after Bond.  There’s a brief early mention of the energy crisis, solar power, but Bond is pulled off that to pursue his pursuer.  I think if this movie had stayed a cat and mouse between Bond and Scaramanga, it would have been quite magnificent.  But the solar thingy (solex agitator) comes back into play, almost like an after-thought.  And so Scaramanga has this crazy big solar energy playset on his island... that really has nothing to do with anything other than to give us a big set-piece and something we can blow up later.  It’s mostly a MacGuffin.  Scaramanga intends to sell it to the highest bidder, but because the solex isn’t really worked into the story very well... who cares?  The far more interesting story here is Christopher Lee and Roger Moore as adversaries.  Alas, Bond movies weren’t yet ready to break the mold and go a bit more intimate and personal with their storylines.



There’s a lot to like here, but the elements just aren’t pulled together very well.  And we’re hampered with Mary Goodnight (Britt Ekland), who seems to just keep messing things up.  I mean, she’s an agent... really?  I rather like her too, or I like Britt Ekland, but this script gives her nothing but a habit of innocently lousing things up.  Even when she finally gets to act and takes out a guard at the end, her actions end up blowing up the island.  Really??  Typical of this film, though.  A lot of promise, not much follow through.





Christopher Lee is much more interesting as Scaramanga than I used to think when I was a kid.  He’s rather charming, cold, vain, and a bit bored with life until Bond comes along.  He lives on a lovely private island, gets paid a million dollars per assassination, and, of course, he carries the titular golden gun – complete with golden bullet.  The gun is a nifty little piece that he can build very quickly from ordinary-seeming objects he carries with him.  It only holds one bullet, but that’s all he needs.  The scenes with him and Bond, verbally sparring (and yet remaining gentlemen), and then finally squaring off in a duel are the best scenes in the movie.  The two actors have good chemistry.



And unfortunately, our most annoying loud-mouth sheriff from Live and Let Die is back.  Sigh.  I guess he apparently was popular enough at the time for a return appearance. 

Also back is Marc Lawrence, as a gangster hired to try to kill Scaramanga in the pre-credit sequence.  I’m not sure if he’s supposed to be the same character he played in Diamonds are Forever, but I like to think he is.  Both characters dress just about the same, talk the same... why not?



This movie has one of the most amazing, real car stunts I’ve ever seen in a film.  A crazy mid-air roll right over a river, from one curving ramp to another.  It’s flawless and apparently was done in one take.  It’s quite spectacular.



Favorite parts:  Scaramanga’s funhouse.  The end duel, particularly the start, with Bond and Scaramanga back to back.  The two nieces trained in martial arts.  The car stunt.  M telling Q to shut up twice in one conversation.

Music:  good, not great
Theme song:  I quite like the melody but not the sung rendition.
Credit sequence:  Okay
Bond girl:  Goodnight is unfortunately too inept at her job, Maud Adams as Scaramanga’s mistress who helps Bond, is much more interesting, walking a fine line between two dangerous men.
Bad guys:  Well, when can you ever go wrong with Christopher Lee??  He’s great. Herve Villechaize as Scaramanga’s servant, Nick Nack, is a perfect match for him, and together they are a great pair.
Overall personal rating:  2 out of 5 stars

Live and Let Die (1973)

Woo.  The 70’s have well and truly arrived.  Roger Moore has arrived.  I always think I like this movie better than I do.  The sum of my memories is better than the movie itself.  In general, I’m only okay with the Moore Bond films.  They’re a little too silly and cutesy for me.  You can ask how I can rank Diamonds are Forever a 5/5, but not find that a silly movie.  I find it a funny movie.  There’s a difference.  I think it’s mostly that they start doing things specifically for humor in Moore’s Bond, which usually fails on me, whereas Diamonds is played straight, the humor more natural.  But humor is one of those tricky things that works differently for each person. 

Live and Let Die... even having just watched this movie, I can't say I really know what this one’s really about.  Drugs, sure, but I never really get much past that.  I do love Kananga, mostly because I love Yaphet Kotto.  He must have the largest network of people working for him of any Bond villain.  Just about everybody seems to be working for him!  And boy, do they get around.  Kananga would make me very paranoid because of how easily he controls so many.



I really do like Roger Moore as Bond, despite the fact that I’m not overly fond of his films.  He’s a very different Bond from Connery, and that works in his favor.  He is also my first theatrical Bond, so he gets sentimental points for that.  He also actually succeeds with the silly/cuteness factor.  I don't think any of the other Bond actors could pull off the lines that Moore makes seem natural, so more points for being able to pull off the silliness.  He’s good-looking, and also has that right physical and arrogant component that I like in my Bonds.

I might like this movie better if it had a good score, but it does not.  No John Barry this outing, and the music in this one makes me cringe.  It’s not the worst of the scores, but it’s very very low on the totem pole.  I like various parts of this movie quite a bit, but there's a lot of dead weight in this film.  And I have to admit, I love a good chase scene... but the boat chase in this one?  Goes on forever with no real purpose... and introduces one of the absolute most annoying characters not just in a Bond film but in any film anywhere -- Sheriff Pepper.  He makes me want to bang my head against a wall.  Though his final line after he finds out who Bond is, "Secret agent? On whose side?!" does make me laugh.

But I do love Jane Seymour as Solitaire, Kanaga's psychic tarot card reader.  Could she be any prettier?  I always get a bit frowny at Bond for his easy manipulation of her, just to get info on Kanaga.  (Moore's Bond always seems colder and less emotional than Connery's Bond, which I find interesting.)  But then he does come back to rescue her in the end.



I also really like Kanaga's henchmen:  Tee Hee and Whisper.  And my favorite character in the whole film has to be Baron Samedi, played by Geoffrey Holder, who used to be in the 7-Up commercials.  He has a great voice and a fabulous laugh.  He very nearly makes the whole movie in his small amount of screen time.  And I love that the movie ends on him.



Oddly, despite the fact that I love David Hedison, I am not fond of his Felix in this film.  I like him much better in his second outing as Felix.  I can't actually put my finger on why, but his acting seems really bad in this film.  Now, that's ironic coming from me, who loves Rik Nutter's Felix, and he can't act for beans.  It might be because I know Hedison from all sorts of other things, so I expect better from him?  Whereas I've never seen Mr. Nutter in anything but Thunderball.  Might be because the script gives Felix lousy dialogue here?  I don't know, but sadly, I just can't appreciate this Felix.



Favorite parts:  "Whose funeral is it?" "Yours." -- Not once, but twice.  Moneypenny covering for Bond in the beginning.  Alligators and crocodiles!  Everything from Bond rescuing Solitaire to the end credits, which is the strongest section of the movie.  Roger Moore should wear black more often.  The way Bond clenches his fists right before Kanaga cuts his arm.  End fight on train!  "Just being disarming."  Baron Samedi laughing as the train pulls away.




Music:  Lousy
Theme song:  Okay.  I've gotten used to this song over the years, and I like the middle section, but I am not particularly a fan of Paul McCartney's later work.
Credit sequence:  Meh
Bond girl:  I love Solitaire, love the way she's caught between the bad guys and good guys.
Bad guys: I like them... worthy adversaries, but I still have no idea what Kanaga's trying to do.
Overall personal rating:  3 out of 5 stars

The Fallen Sparrow (1943)

Patti from They Don't Make 'Em Like They Used To is hosting a John Garfield blogathon right now in honor of the actor's 100th birthday.  I haven't seen that many John Garfield pictures, mostly only in the famous ones, such as The Postman Always Rings Twice, but he grows on me every time I see him in a film.  I chose The Fallen Sparrow as my entry.  It was a film that I had never seen, but the cast and plot appealed greatly to me.  I was not disappointed.

 

The Fallen Sparrow concerns John "Kit" McKittrick (Garfield) who returns to New York to investigate the death of Louie Lepetino, his lifelong best friend.  Police say it was an accidental death, Kit is pretty sure it's murder.  And while the murder investigation is the driving motivation, there is so much more going on in this film.  Kit, a prisoner of war for two years in the Spanish Civil War who had been brutally tortured, has been convalescing in an Arizona ranch/clinic for what we would now identify as PTSD.  This is not idle character background to simply make Kit a very troubled soul.  The torture he underwent at the hands of an unknown Nazi, what he refused to tell them during that time – that’s the real plot of the film.  Murder mysteries are not really my thing, but the rest of the content of this film is right up my alley.

Because I am an absolute sucker for characters who will defend an ideal – something intangible – to the death.  In this film, it is not quite an intangible, but it might as well be.  We find out that Kit’s brigade killed a general who was very close to Adolf Hitler.  Hitler has vowed to destroy all those responsible and to hang the brigade's battle standard on his wall.  It is that battle standard’s location that Kit will die before revealing and letting the Nazis get it.

This movie moves under the guise of the murder investigation:  Kit joins the wealthy, elite crowd Louie had been running with in order to identify multiple suspects – three of them beautiful women – and meet the one witness to Louie’s plunge out a window.  That witness is played by Maureen O’Hara.  Another of his friends is murdered and the death called suicide by the police.  Kit doggedly tracks down his leads to find out who killed Louie.

But under that runs the true story.  The story of a man trying to recover from two years of torture, a man who finds nothing is quite what it seems, and that he is still being manipulated.  There is a psychological tale woven here, of one man trying to keep his head above water.  Kit has to beat his own demons to beat the bad guys.  He is haunted by memories – dripping water, the limping footsteps of the Nazi who tortured him.  He fights the reoccurrences with techniques the doctors in Arizona taught him.  He puts on records to drown out imagined sounds.  This is where John Garfield excels.  One of the things I like best about him in his portrayals is how easily he can say one thing and display something else.  When his friend, Ab, asks how he’s doing nowadays, Kit tells him he’s doing great.  But when Ab asks him if he hears any more noises, Kit’s body language as he says “No,” clearly means “Yes.”  This movie is filled with moments like that, and if I hadn’t admired Garfield’s ability as an actor previously, this movie would have won me over.  The movie continues to provide voice overs during Garfield’s episodes, which is too bad.  They are unnecessary.  Everything you need to know is right there in his face, and the voice overs themselves are so blunt and to the point, but alas, that’s the way it goes.  It doesn’t take away from the beauty of his performance under it all.

The very first shot is of Kit is pulling a gun out of his suitcase.  A moment of hesitation, and he slips it into an inner suit pocket.  Then he sees his reflection in the train window, and we hear a voice over as he airs his doubts over his readiness to face the world.  Sure, the voice over tells you directly what you need to know, but so does Garfield’s face.  This is an unnerved but very determined man.  That determination sees him through the movie, through his own problems and through those thrown at him by the antagonists of the film.

One of my favorite scenes in the movie is a very disturbing scene where Kit is invited in to meet a Norweigan professor, who is in the middle of telling several people how torture works.  Kit’s reaction – one of revulsion but equally strong fascination – is brilliant.  He doesn’t want to hear any of this, and yet, he finds himself nodding his head to Dr. Skaas’s words, understanding firsthand exactly why what the professor is telling his wealthy audience is true.  John Garfield does this throughout, giving the audience a glimpse of the agony he still suffers and the willpower he uses to beat it.  I really loved him in this film.



Both story lines – the murders and Kit’s torture in Spain – are, of course, intricately connected, and I liked the way everything tied together.  I am also particularly fond of the way the movie ends.  I thought it was a perfect way to conclude the film.

Maureen O’Hara plays Toni Donne, an enigmatic, beautiful woman who is right in the middle of the suspicious crowd of “refugees.”  Kit hounds her into going out with him so he can get some information, as she is the only witness to Louie’s death, but along the way, he also falls for her, despite, or because of, her connections to the wrong side.  She’s a bit of a wounded bird, much as he is, and they’re both drawn to the other.  I liked her character, and how, like Kit, you want to believe her, but you’re never quite sure which side she’s on until the very end of the movie.  Her mystery, her sincerity, her beauty all work perfectly here to keep her a lovely inscrutable character.



Patricia Morrison plays a beautiful old flame of Kit’s, and Martha O’Driscoll plays the sister of Kit’s friend, Ab.  Both fit nicely into this film’s web of characters.  Walter Slezak plays the professor, Dr. Skaas, the wheelchair bound invalid seemingly obsessed with studying man’s cruelty to man.  He has a perpetual smirk beneath his genial veneer and seems to play his role with relish.



This wartime film isn’t a movie for everyone.  The manipulation of Kit’s character, his traumatic past, the fact that the characters are either trying to protect or trying to destroy an ideal embodied by a "dirty old rag," won’t work for everyone.  It was quite different from what I was expecting for a noir/spy/war film, but I enjoyed it immensely and would really like to own this one on DVD.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971)

Okay, this is another Bond film about which I probably part ways with most James Bond fans, because I absolutely love Diamonds Are Forever, even more than Thunderball.  If it weren’t for Daniel Craig’s movies, this would probably be my all-time favorite James Bond film.  That doesn't mean it's a great film, it just means it's a personal favorite.  This is, by far, the funniest Bond of them all, and I spend the whole movie laughing, in the best way possible.



This film is intrinsically tied up with family memories as well.  It's not just my favorite, but my sister's and my parents love it too.  We watched this one on video an awful lot growing up, mostly because it was so amusing.  It's the only Bond film we quote on a regular basis.  Nearly daily.  And not just a couple lines, but tons of dialogue from it.  It is SOOO quotable.  I can't say that about any other Bond film.  Oh, there's usually a few one-liners from any given film, but the entire movie isn't quotable the way this one is!  "Would you settle for a tulip?"

I particularly admire the extremely effective intro to the problem at hand.  While Bond and M listen to a verbal explanation of how the diamond industry works, we see what’s really going on visually.  Scenes like that just makes me bounce with writerly joy.  It’s such a great way to streamline the story.  We’re also immediately introduced to Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd, this movie’s hilarious henchmen who single-handedly take out half a dozen people and nearly kill Bond three times, while talking in nothing but wisecracks the whole time.  “Heartwarming, Mr. Kidd.”  “A glowing tribute, Mr. Wint.”  They’re here from start to finish, and every time they’re around, I start laughing just anticipating what they’re going to say.  They’re perfectly cast too.  Putter Smith and Brian Glover are like the least likely looking bad guys and that just makes them even funnier.  Okay, maybe not Brian Glover.  He looks kind of creepy.  But Putter Smith just looks like a used car salesman or something.  Together, they're just priceless.



A big part of what I love so much about this movie, and what I find hilarious, is how often Bond pretends to be someone else throughout the film.  He pretends to be Peter Franks, pretends to be an Amsterdamer, complete with accent and lines my family quote all the time:  “I speak English!  Who... is your floor?”  He pretends to be a grieving brother.  He pretends to be Klaus Hergersheimer...  It’s too funny.  Bond rarely puts on an act, particularly not a whole string of them in the same movie.  He usually just goes in and does the job, or when he does impersonate someone, it's usually someone serious, like a businessman.  Except in this movie.  Connery seems to be enjoying his turns in Bond's different disguises way too much, and that enthusiasm is infectious.  I think this is the only Bond movie I start grinning just thinking about it.

Then there’s all the other crazy and awesome characters in this movie.  Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd I already talked about.  But there’s Morton Slumber, and Shady Tree, and Jimmy Dean as Willard Whyte (“Baa-ah-ha-ah?  I don’t have anything in Baa-ah-ha-ah!”  Actually any time he opens his mouth, he’s funny.  “Burt Saxby?  Tell him he’s fired!”)  Bruce Cabot plays Burt Saxby!  Marc Lawrence plays a henchman (“I didn’t know there was a pool down there.”)!  These guys are just so distinctive and so great.




Now, let’s get the things I don’t like out of the way...  Plenty O’Toole.  Bambi and Thumper.  The car chase with the cops (although I do like the way the sheriff approaches the car looking all grim and serious and Bond just reverses the car and peals away.  But the rest of the chase?  I’m really not fond of when cops are portrayed as stupid, and I'm not overly fond of chases that really don't do anything but show off stunts.

But besides those few moments, everything else is just plain, awesome fun.  “I was just out walking my rat, when I seem to have lost my way.”  “Your troubles are all behind you now.”  "Weren't you a blonde when I came in?"  "You just killed James Bond!"  Why yes, the dialogue is one of the biggest selling points of this movie.

Our Bond girl this time out is Tiffany Case.  I used to think I just tolerated Jill St. John as Tiffany Case, but I've come to realize she’s quite perfect in this particular movie and I love her here.  I can't imagine anyone else in the role, and she fits with the general tone of Diamonds Are Forever.  Same with the Las Vegas setting.  Not a place I like, but it fits this movie.  Bond climbing around the outside of the Whyte House makes me cringe.  Not so fond of the heights!



I also quite like Charles Gray as Blofeld.  He also fits in well with this movie.  None of the other Blofeld actors would work here.  Well, Telly Savalas might have worked.  I'm always amused when Blofeld escapes from under the CIA's nose by dressing up as a woman, carrying his cat, and walking right out.  Hee.



Favorite parts:  Bond impersonating Klaus Hergersheimer, and the real guy coming in to the lab after Bond leaves.  Bond nonchalantly stepping on top of the outside elevator to ride it up.  Bond using Blofeld's mini submarine to destroy the place.  The fight in the elevator with Peter Franks.  The "brain trust."  Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd.  Tiffany Case's last dress/robe outfit.  The fact that none of the construction crew notices an unconscious man in the tubing they are laying.  Q cheating at the slot matchines, but only really interested in seeing how well his gadget works.  Bond bored stiff while listening to M read off info about the diamonds in the case. Bond pretending to make out with a non-existent partner.



Music:  Great, particularly love the “driving into Las Vegas” theme.
Theme song:  Fabulous
Credit sequence:  Cool... has a cat with a diamond necklace!
Bond girl:  Really like her
Bad guys:  Like Blofeld, and the henchmen are spectacularly funny
Felix:  I like this Felix.
Overall personal rating:  5 out of 5 stars

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)

So, where You Only Live Twice let me down since the last time I saw it, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service has gone the other direction.  I remember when I was young, we sort of scoffed at it.  Maybe now we’re just used to Bond being played by many different actors.  Anyway around, George Lazenby’s only outing as Bond is a quite enjoyable film, and I think he does a fine job in the role.  What I like in a Bond, he provides.  He’s got the right arrogance, the right confidence, the right physicality.  Is he Sean Connery?  Of course not, but he’s a credible Bond, aided by a solid script, with solid direction, possibly the best John Barry music of the entire series, fabulous scenery, and some of the best action sequences in all of Bond.



And so, yeah, I really like this one nowadays.  I love the Bond/M/Moneypenny dynamic that just gets stronger with each film, regardless of the actor playing Bond.  I can’t say enough for Bernard Lee’s work as M.  He’s the only character who isn’t intimidated or outwardly impressed by Bond.  He is the only one who can take Bond down a peg with a mere look, and yet backs him implicitly when anyone but himself questions Bond.  And in this movie, there’s the great sequence where Bond angrily dictates his resignation memo to Moneypenny, only to have her quietly change it to a leave of absence request before she passes it to M.  Great scene.  Throw in Q, and those four have just about the best “office” relationship ever.  And I love that Bond actually has an office in this film.  With a desk and files and everything.

As opposed to the You Only Live Twice rather sedate Blofeld, Telly Savalas’s version is quite amazing.  This is not a villain who sits back and pets his cat and lets others do his dirty work.  This guy is right in the thick of things!  I mean, when Bond escapes from Piz Gloria?  Sure, he sends his men after him, but that isn’t enough for him.  He jumps on his own skis and pursues – at night, over dangerous terrain with precipices, etc.  He sets off avalanches, he tries to escape Bond at the end in a bobsled!  This is one seriously active Blofeld, and it quite fun.  This is a return to Largo’s style of bad guy, and I love it.  His obsession with his name/title, and his plans with his hypnotized/programmed girls are a bit daft, but I suspect he probably could have pulled it off.



I also really like Draco, Tracy’s father played by Gabriele Ferzetti, who Bond turns to for manpower and tactical support when he can’t get the same officially from M.

And then there’s Tracy, played by Diana Rigg.  She’s beautiful, a bit troubled, strong-willed, and more than holds her own in a fight with one of Blofeld’s bad guys in the end fight.  She really is a good match for Bond.  She’s got the right vulnerability to make him feel needed, but she’s independent enough to stand by him as a partner.  They save each other’s lives in this movie more than once.  I love the scene where she skates up to him, and the camera pans upwards.  Of course, if Bond finds the perfect mate, he’s not going to be allowed to keep her, and I admit I can get teary at the end when Blofeld takes his revenge.  I love Lazenby’s reaction to Tracy's death, and how he sells it.  It works for me.  Add on Louis Armstrong's end title song, "We Have All the Time in the World," and it's a very sad ending.



Favorite parts:  Bond’s angry, violent reaction to British agent Campbell’s death.  That’s the human side of Bond I just love seeing, and that moment is my favorite part of the whole movie.  Of course, I’m also extremely fond of Campbell, (even if Campbell is too impatient and brings his demise upon himself), so Bond’s reaction is my reaction.




Other favorite parts: Cable car!  Bobsled chase!  Amazing ski chases!  The “Escape from Piz Gloria” cue, my favorite John Barry Bond action cue of them all, out of a whole series of great Bond scores.  Bond in a kilt.  The wedding at the end and Tracy’s lovely dress.  Moneypenny’s tears at the wedding, and Bond throwing her his hat.  Draco making up stories on the radio to cover their helicopter approach to Piz Gloria.  The gorgeous mountain scenery.  “This never happened to the other fella.”



Music:  Awesome
Theme song:  Love it – instrumental and works great
Credit sequence:  okay
Bond girl:  I love Tracy, and I also love that I always start out not particularly liking her, and she wins me over every time.
Bad guys:  I always have a bit of a hard time remembering he’s Blofeld and not Telly Savalas.  But he makes up for it for by jumping into things.
Overall personal rating:  4 out of 5 stars