Completed Nano last night

What a different experience this nano was. What a pain in the rump this nano was.

Lesson 1. Do not attempt a complicated novel when you don't understand what you're doing yet.

Lesson 2. If you don't know where you're going or how even to accomplish it in a non-linear story, do not expect the story to just write itself.

Lesson 3. Do not attempt stories that require a lot of research without actually doing the research prior to nano.

Lesson 4. You can still write 50,000 words while not knowing what you're doing.

Lesson 5. Those words will be crap.

Been neglecting this journal

Only 13,000 words left to go to finish nano's demands. I've wanted to quit innumerable times. Not quite sure what's kept me going. Most of the actual writing I've done will be tossed out immediately upon rewrite. This nano's not like last year, where I could concentrate and wrote quite a bit I liked in the first draft. This go around is really like doing an expanded novel outline with dialogue. It's a load of crap. That's okay, and I'm cool with that. At least I know what happens in the story now, and I know what I don't like and what needs to change. I haven't had the same level of excitement I had last year towards the work. I care, but in a different way. Maybe because it's three novellas instead of one narrative. Because just when I got attached to the characters, I finished and had to move on to a new set. Because I'm unhappy with the p.o.v.s. Because I don't know how to work in the things that have to be there yet. Because it's so hard.

And yet, it's funny. Because when I had the choice early on this nano to drop this one and pick up the first book of the fantasy trilogy instead, my only thought was, but what's the point? This new book raises the bar for me, and nothing will be the same after it. I still like that other fantasy story, but if I ever write it now, it has to be reimagined into something different. It's so... straight-forward. A good exciting story, sure, but nothing distinguishes it from a hundred other good stories. And this is the problem with growing older, watching your writing and ideas mature. Sometimes you just can't go back.

Maybe I'll just "get the hysterics"

So, nano's underway and I'm a fair amount behind. I did reach nearly the daily quota yesterday. Nearly. Looking forward to today, to see what I can do with more time. Of course, I'm already procrastinating...