Ack!

So, 32K and 62 pages into POW and an unknown character just appeared. A woman, no less, and I'm wondering 1) where she came from, and 2) where she's going, because she's obviously not in any of my outline notes. Ahem. So, how's she tie into things? How much does this change? Clearly, she's trouble with a capital T. But I'm not sure what kind. Does she have her own designs on Mitchell? Is she working for Stark?

I'm very intrigued by this unexpected chick, and I will let her go wherever she will.

Did anyone see where August went?

I love it when stories refuse to obey me. Okay, let me rephrase. I love it when there's actually nothing written yet, and the story is still in formation phase. When reworking it doesn't involve trashing 100 pages of story and starting over.

My new novel (working title of P.O.W. cuz I gotta call it something), which I do believe I will give a shot at for nano this year, is in that lovely formation phase where there is nothing but beautiful discovery after beautiful discovery. The whole thing kicked off from a what-if branch off of an unsatisfying tv episode I watched, and it's now so far removed from that, I can barely recognize its origins. But the casting of the lead was one of the driving forces. Only he won't stay who I want him to be. The lead has turned into a totally different guy, and the guy I wanted has taken over the other lead character.

You know, the bad guy.

Who now that I watch my subconscious shift and change this story around, know that this takeover means I've got my heroes mixed up. Again. Must be another sign you're reading one of my books. Yeah, the characters aren't who you think they are. Didn't realize quite how grey I was on the borders of good and evil where my lead men are concerned. Okay, I knew, I've always known, but it still surprises me when it pops up in a book. Weird how I can still be surprised by such things.

Oh crap.

You think I'd have learned my lesson last year: never disparage a fictional character. Never doubt them when they tell you they can make something happen just because your brain is too limited to see the big picture. Because they'll just laugh at you (good-naturedly, in this case) as they deliver the goods.

The scifi western IS a novel.

Insufferable, smirking, stupid, shirtless character.

I guess I have my nano project.

Issued: one "get out of jail free" card

There's this cute, but unproductive character who's been hogging up quite a bit of mental brain time lately. So, I go to banish him tonight, and what does he do? Reminds me I haven't written my garage sale contest story yet. With a sweet smile. Except, I'm finally learning, see. Sweet hides sly and devious. I tell him crossly the flash piece has nothing to do with him. And he says, "Doesn't it?" with an even wider smile.

The thing with creative brains is, they don't stop working just because you tell them not to. So while my conscious brain has its hands over its ears singing loudly "la-la-la-la-la," the creative part is actually seriously considering what he's saying. Stupid easily-duped imagination. Stupid smug character.

He'll be insufferable now.

Rescued!

Not by Kirby -- by Billy. Because sometimes you need someone young and straight-forward to remind you of something simple you were overlooking.

And all because I was thinking I needed to write one Green Room story per month, and while pondering May's story, Billy popped up and said it would be about him and the reward he'd get for solving my novel problem. And I said, "huh, you?" And he nodded earnestly and said, "Yep, cuz I AM going to solve your problem." And I went, "huh, you?" And he pointed at the keyboard, and so I wrote exactly nine lines of Green Room dialog, not even 80 words total, and as I trailed away, staring at the dialog I'd just written for him, Billy smiled and said smugly, "See? Problem solved."

And damned if it wasn't. And it was all because Billy wasn't in my story "Reckoning" and, more importantly, the reason he wasn't in the story.

The boy is a genius.

And yes, this means I am THROUGH the scene that's been driving me nuts since draft 1.

close, but no cigar

Thirty-three pages left to edit. (I think that's around fifty in TNR-12). Such a seemingly small number, such seemingly insurmountable road blocks.

And I decided tonight, I've been wasting my anger threatening the wrong character. S is genuinely cooperating. And that makes this major road block R's fault. He's failing to ask the right questions. He's letting me down. So, we'll see how he likes being on the wrong side of my wrath for a change. He's neither sneaky nor clever like S is, so maybe that means he'll actually be helpful.

May tomorrow bring Kirby to the rescue, careening stolen trucks through check point gates. Hm, maybe not. I might start working on the wrong story....

Heroes

I was thinking about heroes last night, after a conversation with my dad. Heroes in the classic sense -- people admired for their achievements and noble qualities. Not sandwiches, not objects of extreme admiration and devotion. I was thinking about it because my dad had just watched "Cinderella Man," enjoyed it immensely, and he was telling me about how Jim Braddock was a true hero, and how I needed to see this movie posthaste. Really, this was his oblique way of telling me how much he doesn't approve of my taste in cinematic characters/men (nothing new there), but it did get me thinking about heroes and fiction. How few there are in movies today. I think there's more in novels, particularly if you go with anything high fantasy, but even there, less and less. And I was thinking about my current novel, DTD, and it's, um, distinct lack of heroes.

There are four main characters, and they are all flawed.

L - the only woman. A fence-sitter, unable to commit to taking a stand.
S - who has noble goals, who once was admirable, but years of failure have driven him to brutal, ruthless tactics.
R - who enjoys the perks that go with power without understanding the responsibility that goes with it. Selfish and spoiled.
B - the best of the bunch, except he's dead. And when you're dead, the basic needs that drive living people are gone, and this skews his outlook.

And, of course, that's only how they start out in the story. All four change and grow throughout, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. But none are true heroes, none are admirable. I would not want to emulate any one of them. However, they suit the story I want to tell. Their moral ambiguities are necessary but it doesn't mean they don't have good qualities as well. I did not set out to write a story about admirable people this time around. I set out to write a scifi/noir story.

Is that a bad thing? Is it bad that I am not writing about upstanding and morally clear citizens? That I'm not writing about heroes? That my characters blur the lines between good and bad, do bad things to achieve worthy goals, and do good things that get them in trouble? I'm not a message writer. Never have been, though the themes I write about matter very much to me. For better or for worse, I write to entertain. I love and understand all four of these characters. I wouldn't be writing about them otherwise. But this is a book I will not give my dad to read. He's not interested in human failings and how we overcome those flaws to better ourselves and our society. He's not interested in the grey area. And DTD is all about the grey.

For the record, my previous two novels both offer up true heroes, the kind my dad would happily root for and aspire to be like. Oh, both novels have their share of grey (and my absolute favorite characters in both are the greyest of the lot -- hm, maybe my dad is right to decry my taste in men/characters), but there are very admirable noble characters in both for someone like my dad to latch onto, and clear-cut evil characters he can root against. Characters I ultimately find to be rigid in their outlook and best used to contrast against the greys. And of course, for me, it is the grey characters who are the important ones, as it is they who force the black and white characters to evaluate their own motives and goals -- and where they draw their line determines how much of a hero they really are or can become.

Unbelievable

Um, how exactly can one get this close -- *THIS CLOSE!* -- to the ending of a 110,000 word novel and get the biggest surprise yet? I'm still shaking my head. How can I not have seen this particular thing coming in my own book? Who's writing it, anyway?? And this, coming after that surprise on Saturday from another character. This lot's been seriously holding out on me. And I mean SERIOUSLY.

In hindsight, every "surprise" this bunch of characters has hit me with was actually there in the manuscript long in advance. They aren't really surprises, they're logical outcomes of events and personalities I set up back in November. But somehow, I still managed to not see any of it coming. That's what floors me. That I could set it all up and not see what I was setting up.

This has definitely been an extremely unique novel-writing experience.

What's left

Outlined what remains to write of current novel this morning so I could get a grip on what is left to do... and WOO! Boy, did I get surprised. Big time. Appears my bad guy is far cleverer than I gave him credit for. He had another twist up his sleeve. And as much as I still loathe his tactics, right now I absolutely love him for his brilliance. Never thought I'd say this, but the bastard just managed to earn my grudging respect as he turned the final outcome of the novel on its head again. Damn him!

Anyway: what's left to do (unless one of the other characters decides they have to mess with me too):

Chapter 19 - finish last scene
Chapter 20 - three scenes
Chapter 21 - five scenes
The End